I had the honor of being nominated today for the Sunshine Blogger Award by the brilliant and inspiring Jasper Kerkau and the Sudden Denouement Literary Collective. This is my first blogging award nomination and my understanding is the rules stated are as such:
•Thank whoever nominated your blog!
• Indulge yourself and answer any questions you feel happy to answer.
• Spread that radiance to some other awesome blogs to keep the light shining brightly.
• Use these questions or make up your own to ask your nominees.
• Tell your nominees that they have been nominated.
• Put your preferred logo award on display. I chose the one above.
I strongly urge you to check out the Sudden Denouement as well as the blog pages of the contributing writers. In addition to containing some of the most awe-inspiring, deep and brilliant writing I’ve ever read, the human beings who contribute to it shine like stars in the universe. They fully embrace their lightness and their darkness. They are kind, supportive, complex and fascinating people that I am honored to share a community with.
Questions and Answers
How did Private Bad Thoughts come about?
I have always written fervently but never liked to share my work. Three years ago, my heart and mind were badly broken, and my life was ruined. I felt like I had a good chance of dying if I stayed in the US. So, I ran away from home and lived abroad, where I didn’t learn the language and I stopped writing. It was like being asleep.
When I came back home, I started to wake up, which was confusing. After surviving a car crash I didn’t want to survive, I found that I couldn’t stop writing again. I sat down and wrote 29 poems about car crashes in one sitting, and then I kept going.
I put it out there publicly because of one person I cared about who was cruel to me. He said I was garbage, would never amount to anything and shut me out. It was the final straw that broke me. I felt utterly lost, overwhelmed, alienated and afraid of being back in America. I guess I just needed to feel heard. I wrote like I was bashing on piano keys, it was constant, unedited and it was ugly. Sometimes that’s how the soul sweats.
When Jasper Kerkau commented on something I wrote, I started to think maybe people liked it, that it could even help someone else who was hurting. So I started a nicer blog, and started writing for nicer people.
It started out about me wanting to prove a petty point that I wasn’t worthless, but it turned into me realizing that I’m actually not.
What are the goals of Private Bad Thoughts moving forward?
Jasper Kerkau and I have developed a close friendship, as well as Rob, Olde Punk, Christine from Brave and the Reckless and Hannah Munroe. These relationships have helped me find faith in my writing and myself, and pursue writing as a career. I bleed onto the page and get insane moral support. I don’t think I could keep being so open and feeling this much if it weren’t for the support I receive.
I used to believe it when people said horrible things to me, now I believe it when they say nice things.
I want to do that for other people, and keep these important relationships with other bloggers. Of course, the poetry I’ve come across is beautiful, the stories, the literature, but the sense of community is the real backbone here.
Who do you have to thank for ?
Jasper Kerkau, hero to so many. He was the first person to comment on something I wrote, and that encouragement led to me start Private Bad Thoughts. We support each other every day, with Sudden Denouement, and the gift he gave to me that is Whisper and the Roar. I adore him.
Rob, Olde Punk, Christine from Brave and the Reckless and Hannah Munroe have absolutely kept me going, along with other bloggers who have stopped to like, comment, and offer support. It’s important for us to continue to support each other.
I was in a lot of pain, and they encouraged me to turn something that was dangerous into something life sustaining. What a turn around.
“In this terrifying world, all we have are the connections that we make.” -Bojack Horseman
My nominations for the Daisy award are:
Secondary nominations (Already nominated):
Heartstring Eulogies, Just Ruminating, RamJet Poetry,The Lithium Chronicles, Mick’s Neon Fog, Tom Slatin, Max Meunier Poetry, Fallen Alone, Brave and Reckless Blog, The Hell’s Inferno, Malicia Frost, Sam Lucero, Whisper and the Roar, Stephanie Bennett-Henry, Insidious Temptation (Writing isn’t going to save me, people are. I always remember kindness!), Skinny and Single