My Old Friend

I shuttled straight back to Asia
by accident through some book I was reading
about the temples, the practices and everything

Where we dined at restaurants on our knees
with you by my side, I could do the yoga
the meditative practice; I became a better person.
You didn’t know why I was doing it.
Because by then, I had started to feel better,
and wanted to keep it going.

I had children to take care of, I did farming.
I used to eat every day from the community garden
grown from dry patches with the children’s fingers
staking, while I caged them
water ran free from the river once we found it
and vinegar was my best friend
for the floors the vegetables and my skin

You didn’t like how good I was becoming
you said I could only move in with you
if I would stop recycling-
You were so funny. I wish you never left me.
Because when you left, I couldn’t keep to it.
My friend, I wish you had never left me.
Because then, I was like
so many woven hats unravelling.

I hope that someday,
I can return to something like it
I miss you.
I miss the way we used to sleep, soundly.
But I don’t even know where you’re going.
I’d like, at least, a visit.
I’ve never felt so lonely,
did you know that?
you said we would get old together
after our husbands died
at suspiciously similar times..
You were so funny, but
did you ever mean it, even?

Everything I loved when I was younger
either got ruined or slipped away
like so many airplanes
floating out of orbit, carelessly.
Won’t you come visit me?

I won’t read any more books about Asia.
I’m refusing. I think I’ll just lie here,
with my blanket and my heater,
and no one to visit.
Look at how old I’m becoming already,
you don’t really want to miss that,
do you? Please, visit me.

Please, please do.

7 thoughts on “My Old Friend

  1. “I hope that someday, I can return to something like it” … captures so many sentiments I have aswell. I love the nostalgia in this poem. My own adventures with past friends and lovers… White Rock, Eagle River, Trier, Juarez… thanks for making me (more) sad. Enjoyed it. Puke.

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