Childish

“Let me stand on your feet so you can dance me.”

“I don’t like doing that. It’s weird of you, and it’s very childish.”

“Come on, just let me regress for a couple of seconds.”

I drape my arms around his neck and let my body go limp against his. I stand on his feet and he steps me around the kitchen. It’s almost like we’re dancing, but not really.

“Ok, that’s enough, now.” He says to me. I sigh and go lay down for awhile. Then I leave.

14 thoughts on “Childish

  1. Interesting. There’s a lot more to this than what you’ve put down. Your writing is very direct and to the point. With things like “it was like we were dancing, but we weren’t,” it’s a little off-putting, whereas “Then I leave,” is refreshingly stark.

    Could be your writing style here, but I think something more imaginative to describe the act rather than just saying “it’s like we’re dancing, but we’re not actually dancing,” would help me get further into the story.

    1. Thanks for the feedback ❤ As for that sentence, it's like the title of this site, surely I could've used a better adjective than "bad." I don't really want readers to go any further into this story than that right now, but I'll keep your advice in mind in case I want to expand on it.

      1. I like the name of your blog, it works well. Simple words like “bad” mean you keep the flowery away, which is something I don’t do well with it all. That’s why I liked your piece. It’s quite a fresh find on WP.

  2. I like this insight, an autopsy of the words. Interesting for what it is. But I enjoy the final product too much… I’ve just been going with my feeling, my perspective, and sometimes the big picture… whatever it invokes.

    1. An autopsy of the words, that’s great. When I think about it, it does make sense on other levels. But normally I leave my dead buried. ❤

      1. ugh… I have no idea where it originated but I recall it from college days… the guys singing a lovely farewell song about the town’s reputation.

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