Walk of Shame

Once there was a girl
(or boy, it doesn’t really matter)
who didn’t have a name
(or had one that was shattered)

who wrote too much
then spoke too much
then matured backwards

he or she would only
shut up inside a tavern

then was only seen outside of it
tightroping the distance
between that person’s self
and other people’s houses

Friendly Advice

“You do realize the information you’ve given me
about the last two men you were involved with
makes me want to kill them?
and then, what’s worse,
the subsequent consequences
no matter how you justify it
something’s gotta give
and you just told me, it’s giving.”

“Yeah but, i never want to see
either of them again
it’s finished.
So, what’s the difference
if it even happened?”

“Lilah, im concerned
about your mental well being
it’s a facade and i can see
that it’s crumbling
you just weren’t built
to handle these experiences
and then, to give consent afterwards?
it’s not genuine.”

“Ok, so what do you expect me to do?

“I want you to see someone
again, please do.
but this time,
make it someone experienced
and not just a figment
of your imagination
or some exaggerated version
of a simple school counselor
Lilah, you need to see
someone about it.
i dont want to see
any more men
take advantage.
Lilah, don’t you know
you’re a human being
just because you havent
been treated like one
doesnt mean you deserve this.”

“You have to admit
I really bring out
the worst in men”

“Lilah,
they’re taking advantage
havent you heard that expression?”

I remember he said
take this to relax
and now,
spread your legs….

“Lilah? Lilah?
you need to stop
drinking.

I’m going to call
someone to help
Someone, help me!”

Swimming

Everything comes rushing back
and i feel flooded
I write past poems in the present tense
im not even sure i know the difference
at the time of publication

my present poems are all marked fiction
then deleted for extra security reasons
or just because my presence in them
is so shocking

I decide I’ll never get clean
without 660,253 gallons of chlorine
so i bust out my swimming cap
and i do forty laps

im sorry i forgot our plans
it was a spur of the moment
flashback
is my condition improving? yes,
but with the rape by a fugitive
and the author who drugged
and fucked with me
until i fell in love
and wound up bloody

there’s been a hint
of regression
but i won’t drown in it
I’ll just go swimming

Motherfucker

“You should really take a pregnancy test.”
“What? Why? I got tested and I took plan B, I’m fine.”
“You do know that plan B is less effective every time you use it, right?”
“WHAT!? MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!”
“Jesus, Georgia, how many times have you taken it?”
“Ok, listen… I really need you to shut up for a minute.”

In the middle of a fight

“Yes, I’m here to cancel my gym membership
and it’s ridiculous,
i lost my job last year
and then got another one
with a free gym membership
but you should know
im still on food stamps
im struggling

i feel like this is extortion
that you won’t let me out of the contract
i need to speak with the manager
or better yet, the owner.
I’ll pay what I owe
but this is where it ends
or else ill slander your name
to everyone in Salem.”

Then, I get a message
from her, from Korea,
making fun of me and Cambodia
all in one sentence
with pictures included
and I can’t help it,
I start giggling
and step outside
to continue the more fun
conversation

“This is the owner.”
“Yeah, just…” i laugh,
“Excuse me for a moment.”

Brunch with a Girlfriend

“He’s nice enough.”
“Until what? He’s not?”
“No, I’m just saying,
he’s nice enough
but it’s not love.”
“It’s more like
he’s paying for
your services
kind of a thing?”
“Yes, exactly.
It’s just that type
of a relationship.”
“I can’t say I really
know what you mean
but I will say
I find your choices
interesting.”