Swimming

Everything comes rushing back
and i feel flooded
I write past poems in the present tense
im not even sure i know the difference
at the time of publication

my present poems are all marked fiction
then deleted for extra security reasons
or just because my presence in them
is so shocking

I decide I’ll never get clean
without 660,253 gallons of chlorine
so i bust out my swimming cap
and i do forty laps

im sorry i forgot our plans
it was a spur of the moment
flashback
is my condition improving? yes,
but with the rape by a fugitive
and the author who drugged
and fucked with me
until i fell in love
and wound up bloody

there’s been a hint
of regression
but i won’t drown in it
I’ll just go swimming

One thought on “Swimming

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