Are you really a doctor or is this just another nightmare?

“Medication? I can give you one for the nightmares,
two for the shakes, and five more for the resulting side effects,
three times a day.”
“Yeah, no thanks.”
“Ok, then, you want to do this the hard way?
Yoga and meditation, every single day. Community,
you need to have friends, reach out to them
even if you’re exhausted and the last thing you want is human contact.
You need to keep trying.”
“What if I can’t understand them?”
“Ask them nicely to slow down or repeat what they’re saying.”
“Am I retarded?”
“A little bit. Now, listen. Don’t drink too much,
don’t smoke, don’t do drugs-”
“You just tried to prescribe me a plethora of-”
“Don’t interrupt. Exercise is good. You should run.”
“WHY!? IS SOMETHING CHASING US??”
“No, calm down, let me finish. A lobotomy,
lighten up on your no drug policy, occasionally,
you’ll need to relax and have a drink…”
“Ok, so what you’re really telling me is,
there’s no good treatment. Just kind of do whatever?
Because, what, it all sucks equally badly?”
“You got it, princess. Just keep trying.
Oh, and don’t forget to go out and stay in.
It’s important to keep a healthy balance.
Also, you need to be afraid when it’s appropriate
otherwise, you could wind up in some very
dangerous situations.”
“Ok, how do I tell the difference?”
“Don’t worry so much about that.
Become a perfect model citizen instead,
that’s a good enough distraction
even when it’s hard or you lose interest.
You need to keep trying.”
“What are you, a plastic surgeon?
I still want to be who I am.
I’ll never come close to being a model citizen
and I’m ok with that.
I just want to get rid of my post traumatic stress.”
“Don’t worry, your records show
marked improvement.”
“I act like I’m 11.”
“Ok, so stop it.”
“…Are you really a doctor?
I’m not trying to hurt your feelings,
I’m just asking.”
“Whoops, that’s about all the time
we have for this session.
That’ll be $1,000,000.00, in cash.”
“Um, ok, here. Thanks, I guess.”
“Hey, listen, kid. Tough luck.
But life is short, and you’re still young.
You need to keep trying.
Find a way to kick it’s butt.
It’s not time yet to succumb.”
“Yeah..that’s kind of what I thought.”

8 thoughts on “Are you really a doctor or is this just another nightmare?

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