Give me the vaccine

I have been accused
of being a great performer
a term im not a fan of
but the show never stops running
im just trying to speak and not speak
about my experiences
where it is and isn’t appropriate

today, it won’t be,
especially the experience
of being deathly ill
for the last week
so ive applied several coats
of vaseline
over a five day period
throat spray
for my speaking engagement
stage makeup
and my passport at the ready

for my interview
and then the next flight im catching
before i work all weekend

and then finally,
finally,
i get a vacation

i ask the pharmacist
to give me all the shots
she can think of
before i leave town
she informs me there is no shot
for a nervous breakdown

I smile.
“Everything is awesome!”
I sing song
(and im not just overcompensating-
I’m getting ready
for my last performance
and then i swear to god,
ill rest.
I know this sounds bad
but as far as looks go
i have the perfect mask.)

4 thoughts on “Give me the vaccine

  1. You would have to have a prescription for the shots anyway so, you know…

    Although, if I’m not mistaken, pharmacists can wrote Rxs???

    If not, they need to be able to so you can be like, “Look, I know my doc wrote an Rx for 1 lousy milligram of Ativan 2x daily for anxiety. Can we just pretend that script doesn’t exist, I consulted with you, and we decided 10 mg every 2 hours was the way to go?”

    “Hello?! Hey! No one rolls their eyes and walks away from me!”

    Silence…

    “Well fuck, I guess they do…Hey! Come back here! I have a lousy script I need filled. I love you…”

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