Where he ended

It’s a bright and sunny day
that hits the unreasonably
enormous graveyard
as we drive slowly in my car
I make all sorts of promises
we had dinner plans at six
but no, of course,
we won’t stop looking for him
i secretly text
i make rearrangements
she hangs out the side
of my passenger window
like a dog
and dogs kill me
(we couldn’t make
the funeral, the burial
the memorial, anything.
this is two months running)

we decide to park the car
and separate to cover more ground
until finally, through the vast expanses,
she’s the one who finds him, again

there’s an air of exhilaration
at our defeat of the impossibility
to find him again! with no direction
there are so many jokes
i think of making
and half don’t
she chuckles, half to please me
and then, she is kneeling

her knuckles grip
at the vibrant grass
continuing upward
through the spaces in her hands
as i drape my own dead arm
limply across her back

she’s talking to him
private things
dreams made public to me
so i offer to leave
that’s when she grabs me

then, we are both kneeling
at the grave of him
2017, that’s where
he ended

2 thoughts on “Where he ended

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