Waste

ive overdosed three times
only once was an accident
im no stranger to hospital gowns
and demerol drips
at least, i wasnt then
i kept my emergency contact
updated

it was always him
i became his inpatient
but he still
brought home the bacon
and i got fat on it
or rather, skinny
we preferred coke
but we’d take anything

then the optometrist
doomed me to insanity
and i wondered
why i didnt just step
in front of a train
and get it over with
finish off
my half person
my leftovers
so people couldve just
gotten on with it

i still wonder why i didnt
i did the next best thing
i left

when i came back again
i didnt expect
the recognition

i wish theyd stop
remembering things

i was a terrible
waste of a person.

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