I know this is ridiculous, but I feel a little persecuted by your book

“Did you seriously write in your critique
that there’s not enough
blonde leading ladies?

Oh, I’m so sorry
you feel like your race
is underrepresented!
Let’s just see what we can
do about that!”

“….i just didn’t like
that all the blondes
in your books
are trashy

Really, though? Will you
fix that for me?”

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