Why Did I Think This Would be Ok?

I hold these truths to be self evident:
I have trouble keeping my head up
when i dont have enough employment
it’s been my repeated experience
and yet, every chance to take a hiatus, I take it
I say, oh, time off! won’t that be exciting?
I’ll teach myself french and the constitution
and finally finish that book ive been writing

within 24 hours im looking for work again
within 48 I’m a mental patient

7 thoughts on “Why Did I Think This Would be Ok?

  1. God damnit, this is 100% correct!

    And then, the job comes, and it’s like, “What? No time off for a year????”

    Gah. Stupid heads.

    With love, from Mr. Blog’s bed.

  2. I know all too well what it is like to lose myself in busyness– to need to move relentlessly forward like a shark to avoid thinking, to avoid feeling to hide in the activity, terrified of the stillness

      1. I think its tough when you have PTSD with a heavy side of trust issues. It can be hard to sort out if someone is just the wrong fit or if letting ANYONE that close to the vulnerability is challenging. I also play a mean game of “will you still care about me if I am really a monster inside”, pushing people away when they try to get close.

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