Yeah, I’m Working on it (Intermittently)

I confessed to a stranger
that the last time i went to a party
and drank like this
i was raped by a man
with nine previous convictions
she said think of me as a sister
when i tell you this…
you need to change the way youre living

my dentist says i need to quit smoking
in order to prepare myself
for the incisions, the drugs
the eventual healing
the bone grafts im getting
he asks if im taking birth control
and tells me to stop it
so my blood doesnt clog
he wants 5,000 dollars
hes helping me get
my insurance reinstated
i have spent alot
of fucking time with him

My therapist doesn’t say
much of anything
i do all the talking
and i know i should stop it
but to shut up, even for a minute,
is impossible
when im asking
all these questions
when im talking about
what doesn’t make sense

my therapist says
just take the medication
the stranger says
change the way youre living
the dentist says
open your mouth
and sticks his fingers in it
my roommate asks
if we’re leaving
the landlord also
wants that information

but, i dont have
an answer for them.
i dont want to do

7 thoughts on “Yeah, I’m Working on it (Intermittently)

  1. I like this a lot. I know it’s stressful for you so that makes me feel guilty for liking it. But it’s really lovely.

    And yes, as Aurora says, please remember to breathe.

  2. I like your dark and deep poetry… it makes me think of the wind running through leafy trees in a dark dark night with no moon… it makes me fear ghosts and it makes me rethink what I would normally discard as impossible …. I suffered from depression some time back.. and this is how I felt.. this is beautiful.. keep writing

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