A One Seater

i reason,
i dont have to have any of those things
they said i did

i thought about cooking
just briefly,
i thought id cook for him
i thought about
hand holding
i thought about a friendship blooming
the kind that tends to bloom
between a man and a woman,
but for me,

i thought about a couple
of those things

but that was after i stuck the knife in
and twisted it

and now im looking for happiness
in different places

i think again
about kayaking

i think about it

maybe someday
ill find a river
and a kayak
and just jump in.

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