For Playback Purposes

You take a video of me,

Your shadow in the backdrop

Of you asking questions and me answering them

“Are you going to kill yourself?”


“Why not?”

“Because I have lots to live for.”

“Ok, like what?”

“I have my dog. And, you know, stuff.”

I look exhausted.

You say, “Ok, that’s good enough.” 

I am wearing sweatpants, rolled up

A thermal top 

I am not wearing makeup

And my hairs not done

There is a mess, also

In the backdrop.

It looks just like when I was 16

Except I’m not saying

“Oh, fuck off.”

Instead I say, “You know what?”


“Thank you. I love you a lot.”

“Yeah. I’d be sad if you were gone.”

2 thoughts on “For Playback Purposes

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