Well, I don’t usually say this, but since I like you, you’re cured!

Today, my therapist threw back her head

and laughed, a long laugh

and I promised myself i wouldn’t let her do that

but today, i was late for our session

and I wanted to make up for it

besides, I was feeling funny

 

But I don’t want my therapist to like me

because i feel uncomfortable

in my daily living

and since I want her to feel that discomfort

I try let the silences sink in.

 

More than anything,

I want a different diagnosis

but I don’t want her to give in

just because i charmed her into it

 

I want to be undeniably different

from the person I was

when I signed in

Scalding Water

dancing around the jagged glass on the bottom of my shower

i would like you more if all i had was scalding water

 

I broke that candle days ago, I don’t know why I leave it

i can’t tell if im bleeding from the cuts or if that’s just my period

 

and I don’t see my therapist bi-weekly but i don’t know what to call it

it’s more of a bi-daily thing, i have nothing left to talk about

 

She says it’s just to make sure we cover all the bases

She says have you ever tried just breathing, like this

 

I say doctor, I could cut my foot again,

she says,  don’t you get it?

you could literally do anything.

 

I say doctor, It was my mother,

she looks at me and says, No, it wasn’t.

 

I say doctor, I’m going crazy, it’s a trigger

and she says yeah, but it makes sense.

 

doesn’t that make you feel a little bit better?

It was him.  Point the finger.

 

I don’t know if it was him or my mother

but maybe i dont clean up the glass just because

i want to keep on dancing

 

I mean, my god,

what would I do with my time

if it wasn’t for my therapist?

 

She looks at me after a brief silence

and asks if I have any other ambitions

other than, I don’t know,

just getting over all this?

There you are

i remember wanting a boyfriend so badly

that i made a list and cast a spell

i wished that he would never, ever raise his voice at me,

and mostly, you don’t.

 

it’s only when you imitate Hitler

to make fun of my controlling nature

that you raise it at all

an thank god, because

i forgot to ask for humor

but here you are.

“Action!”

You want to be a director

and yet the videos you take of me

to prove that I should stop drinking

always make you look like the jerk

 

and even i can admit Ive been the villain

in these exact situations before

but from the moment of “Action!”

 

I’m either, “Please leave me alone,

honey, im sleeping.” Or “Everybody

look at me!” “Why?” “Cause…

I’m gonna be naked!”

“Come here…i want to show you something”

and….CUT!

it makes you look

like a statutory rapist.

 

This latest one,

I’m showing to my therapist

you are teasing me and laughing

and I am getting visibly upset

I take your keys and lock you out

for ten whole minutes

but I never raised my voice or anything.

in fact, it looks like you were egging me on.

 

I love you very much.

That’s why, if you get arrested

i will always remind you of the right to stay silent

before you do something incriminating.

The Waiting Room- Georgia Park

A Global Divergent Literary Collective

How awkward is it to wait with my boyfriend

in a doctor’s office when the chances of me being pregnant

are 50/50? Not very. We set a timer that reaches

almost 40 minutes. I sit on his lap and he sings.

I wear a gown that ties in the back

three times over but still shows my ass

and I pose for pictures in it,

I think damn, I don’t look half bad.


Georgia Park is the creator of Private Bad Thoughts, curator of Whisper and the Roar a feminist literary collective, and a writer for Sudden Denouement. She is a wonderful poet with an enormous heart. We can’t imagine this journey without her. Please check out more of her wonderful work.

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