The next time my doctor tells me I’m not pregnant
and asks me to believe it
but to test again, and again, and again
if I don’t get my period
I’m going to tell her, “Good!
I’m going to drink a fifth of vodka tonight
to celebrate, and you know what?
It’s been far too long since I’ve done cocaine!”
And then watch and see
what she says.
“Doctor, am I pregnant?”
“No, but don’t do anything stupid.”
“Because if you were, it’d be bad for the pregnancy.”
What the fuck are you trying to tell me?
I’m definitely not pregnant
but I still might be?