“Action!”

You want to be a director

and yet the videos you take of me

to prove that I should stop drinking

always make you look like the jerk

 

and even i can admit Ive been the villain

in these exact situations before

but from the moment of “Action!”

 

I’m either, “Please leave me alone,

honey, im sleeping.” Or “Everybody

look at me!” “Why?” “Cause…

I’m gonna be naked!”

“Come here…i want to show you something”

and….CUT!

it makes you look

like a statutory rapist.

 

This latest one,

I’m showing to my therapist

you are teasing me and laughing

and I am getting visibly upset

I take your keys and lock you out

for ten whole minutes

but I never raised my voice or anything.

in fact, it looks like you were egging me on.

 

I love you very much.

That’s why, if you get arrested

i will always remind you of the right to stay silent

before you do something incriminating.

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