Scalding Water

dancing around the jagged glass on the bottom of my shower

i would like you more if all i had was scalding water

 

I broke that candle days ago, I don’t know why I leave it

i can’t tell if im bleeding from the cuts or if that’s just my period

 

and I don’t see my therapist bi-weekly but i don’t know what to call it

it’s more of a bi-daily thing, i have nothing left to talk about

 

She says it’s just to make sure we cover all the bases

She says have you ever tried just breathing, like this

 

I say doctor, I could cut my foot again,

she says,  don’t you get it?

you could literally do anything.

 

I say doctor, It was my mother,

she looks at me and says, No, it wasn’t.

 

I say doctor, I’m going crazy, it’s a trigger

and she says yeah, but it makes sense.

 

doesn’t that make you feel a little bit better?

It was him.  Point the finger.

 

I don’t know if it was him or my mother

but maybe i dont clean up the glass just because

i want to keep on dancing

 

I mean, my god,

what would I do with my time

if it wasn’t for my therapist?

 

She looks at me after a brief silence

and asks if I have any other ambitions

other than, I don’t know,

just getting over all this?