The End of the Affair

We had such a brief, jarring romance

such an exfoliation of formidable skins

that i had to get drunk to sail my way through it

 

When i remember him now,

i only remember the ugliness and humiliation

that he could remember of it and testify against

i imagine him saying, no, she didn’t always shave her legs

and there were other places she could have shaved, but didn’t,

and theyre not the places you’d expect. and i should mention

her feet looked looked like mottled, grotesque extensions of her legs

no ankles to be had. Something was wrong with her toenails

but I can’t, and wouldn’t want to, put my finger on it (in case it’s contagious)

and i dont know what to think about her teeth, except that i hope,

for her sake, a dentist eventually noticed, and stepped in.

 

See, he was stoic and never said much of anything-i never knew

quite what he was feeling. except that when i called, he was always answering.

it’s also possible that he tried, but i was too drunk and embarrassed to listen.

my next lover, within days of him, grabbed the soles of both my feet

and kissed them. he said they were the cutest things he couldve imagined.

and i said…really? I don’t know what the first man thought, but i know it wasn’t love

because i didnt feel any. i preferred to look through his eyes and tear myself apart

i knew him when i was young, and didn’t take well to coming back grown.

I think i will always wish that he would come back and correct me, but how could he possibly know that this is what i was left feeling?

 

i wonder if he ever wonders what i think of him. I guess i think that

all in all he was a nice man, but one i should never, ever see again.

 

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