We had such a brief, jarring romance
such an exfoliation of formidable skins
that i had to get drunk to sail my way through it
When i remember him now,
i only remember the ugliness and humiliation
that he could remember of it and testify against
i imagine him saying, no, she didn’t always shave her legs
and there were other places she could have shaved, but didn’t,
and theyre not the places you’d expect. and i should mention
her feet looked looked like mottled, grotesque extensions of her legs
no ankles to be had. Something was wrong with her toenails
but I can’t, and wouldn’t want to, put my finger on it (in case it’s contagious)
and i dont know what to think about her teeth, except that i hope,
for her sake, a dentist eventually noticed, and stepped in.
See, he was stoic and never said much of anything-i never knew
quite what he was feeling. except that when i called, he was always answering.
it’s also possible that he tried, but i was too drunk and embarrassed to listen.
my next lover, within days of him, grabbed the soles of both my feet
and kissed them. he said they were the cutest things he couldve imagined.
and i said…really? I don’t know what the first man thought, but i know it wasn’t love
because i didnt feel any. i preferred to look through his eyes and tear myself apart
i knew him when i was young, and didn’t take well to coming back grown.
I think i will always wish that he would come back and correct me, but how could he possibly know that this is what i was left feeling?
i wonder if he ever wonders what i think of him. I guess i think that
all in all he was a nice man, but one i should never, ever see again.