When was the last time
you had to break eye contact
because you were struggling not to cry?
I’ll tell you mine:
He said, “This is your performance review.
I want to say, right off the bat,
that I like you. I think you’re cute.
But you’re just too stupid for us to hire
at the moment. However, I’m going to add
that I think you could have a future
in lawn mowing if you really set your mind to it.