How the medication changed me

When the toilet clogs, I plunge it

and when that doesnt work

because i ran out of toilet paper

three days ago and started using

paper towels instead

I call the maintenance man

and I let him in


When my dog freaks out

at this strange man

in our apartment

i can calm him down

i stick him in his crate

feed him treats

and lead by example

i show him im not panicking


and none of the awful things

i thought would happen did

i dont get evicted or questioned

extensively about my toilet habits

the maintenance man even

came bearing toilet paper as a gift


And when i get a parking ticket

i fight it. I wear my purple cardigan

to meet the hearings officer

and I win, she dismisses it

so i save fifty dollars


She doesn’t ask me

who i was visiting

or where i live

she doesn’t try to revoke

my parking permit

or my license


and when i think about

what i should be doing

the answers arent

Get in touch with my ex!

Adopt an animal!

or Try cocaine again!

it’s usually, Man, I really

ought to go to the gym


2 thoughts on “How the medication changed me

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