Porn Collection

All it took to get over my longstanding
practically debilitating crush on you
was one glimpse at your porn collection
and then forevermore, I just thought “Ew.”

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Dumpster Diving

The spirit of my father carries me
when I squat down, butt crack showing
to examine a piece of discarded furniture
or a painting on the street
finger it, knuckle it around and frown
before breaking into a grin
well, look at that! I’ll think
it’s nothing a little super glue can’t fix
and carry it home on my back beaming
imagining my partner will be quite pleased
and then totally crestfallen if he isn’t
dumping the item back onto the street
with a knuckle on where I’d imagine
its shoulder would be
I’ll whisper with my eyes, tough luck buddy
then for dinner, I’ll roll out a bunch of
three day old bread discarded from the bakery

Being Human Hurts

I was once an ugly girl without a single friend
my own mother did not love my face
and many spit upon it
it was difficult, but I learned to read
and laugh, and alone I danced

then I was once a pretty girl
who spit on many faces
because they laid down in front of me
and it was just so very easy
and anyways, they wouldn’t have been there
if I was ugly, so they were not friends to me

now I have grown to become human
chasing this real, fractured friendship
that has come to mean everything to me
and I don’t understand
who has spit in which face
but just that I want you to
come back again

I was bluffing but I can’t unsend

I remember how you would torture me with emails when I was twenty

Which began with “I’m not a fan of getting blown off”

And would end with “have a good one”

How is it that ten years later

I am sending the same emails

Through your perspective

To my best friend

And like you, im not afraid

That she’ll call me out for bluffing

But that she’ll never take the time to write me again

Oh why didn’t I just say

I care about you

And you hurt my feelings

And hope that, one day

She would write back

But I haven’t emailed you again yet

Have I?

So I guess this is the way it ends

A Love Poem for Grendel

I love you for all the same reasons that you love living
your paws pitter pattering on the edge of the cliff
when I take you hiking, and then running back
to circle around my unsteadier feet
imploring me to look, come see

your mad rush for breakfast in the morning
and dinner at night even if it’s the same
dry kibble, your pleasure when it isn’t
your leaping and bounding through the snow banks
when I am cold and just want to go back in

and your hatred of the sad movies I sometimes watch
which make me whimper, the way you gaze into my drippy eyes
and tug at my sleeve until I turn it off and take you outside