I understand because I remember the way you followed me home

I lied to my friends and totally abstained from mentioning my trip to Turkey
on Greek Easter since the Greeks are mainly offended by the Turks and vice versa
the truth is my trip to Turkey was not an impulsive move I made
during the long depression after my house burned my dreams away
nor is it a graduation present nor an escape from an unforgivable parent

I have grown to fear loneliness as I would a plague
So I would not like to isolate myself to a café
but I will do it if I have to and I am planning for the worst
the real reason is so unreliable, the whisp of someone I once knew
who sometimes talks to me and sometimes doesn’t
whose health is growing worse

Oh, how could I explain the thousands I spent
in the hopes that a ghost from my past
would open her arms, leave a key and welcome me
when my past has taught me I’d be a fool to believe?

Nevertheless I am going to Turkey. Why, they ask
I don’t know for sure what the result will be
So I downcast my eyes and say to them
Oh, no reason, really

all the while the flames of hope lick at me
Asya, I remember your shoes, how silly they were
when your feet were so small, they were big
they were Timberlands! Asya, I heard your voice
and nothing changed, so I made a wish
I made a wish, with your reinforcement
maybe i dont believe your promises
but i am under such a spell
that I am chasing it


2 thoughts on “I understand because I remember the way you followed me home

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