Noping my way out of wedding planning

I am a minimalist

And this industry is insane

All the minimalist advice

Are design schemes

Which involve buying things

Minimalist chair decorations!

Minimalist bouquets! Dressed up with green tape

Made to look like there’s no tape!

Really? That’s not what I meant

You know what holds flowers together?

Rubber bands.

And what’s up with all the flowers

That shit is expensive

My partner says he’s sorry

He hasn’t been there for the planning

I’m so stressed out I havent even noticed

So guess who gets to finish

This fucking project?

How about him?

He’s the one who proposed it


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