Everyone knows weddings wreak havoc on mental health down at the psych hospital

The crisis specialist tells me my regular therapist will be back very soon and I should try to wait for our appointment. I mention I’m just a little stressed about my wedding and she says oh…well then, you should come right in.

Same thing with the suicide hotline. It’s like there’s a red button with the word wedding on it and when you push it 3 doctors get ready to run up with a straight jacket.


The Corner Store

I have a group of Egyptian friends
down at the corner store
who encourage me to quit smoking cigars
and keep me up to date on the orthodox calendar
I know they’re my friends because
One day, I came in crying,
saying everyone I knew lived in Korea
and they gestured at the candy aisle and themselves,
saying, “But you have friends here,
always. We are open 24-7.”
and they hung my heart up
on their bulletin board, behind the counter.

They know my citizenship was taken
on the side of Boylston Street, in Boston
when a pig of a cop doubted
that I was American and asked for me
to spread ’em.
So guess where my first stop was
when my license was reinstated?
I bought candy for everyone
at the corner store,
saying, “This round’s on me, fellas!”