My boyfriend says “Don’t watch scary movies.”
My therapist says “Avoid anything that might be triggering, including but not limited to scary movies.”
My friends say “What kind of popcorn are we talking about here?” before they agree to watch a triple X/R Rated/Snuff film with me
My boyfriend calls me “Hey where are you?”
I answer “I’m under the bed.”
My boyfriend “Why, what happened?”
Me “I don’t know, I kinda thought a scary movie
would make me feel less anxious, but it didn’t.
In fact, it did the opposite of that.”
My boyfriend “All right, well, I gotta go. I’ll see you Monday though, ok?”
Me “Oh yeah. Yup. I am totally cool with that.”
My boyfriend hangs up.
Me “Yup. Really cool. 100%”
My Dog “Where’s my walk?”
Me “Just go in the bathtub. I’ll clean it up.”
My dog “No! That’s gross. I want to go outside.”
Me “Ugh. Ok, hold on.”
I get his leash, my suit of armor, and a gun.